Em and J's excellent Vegas adventure! Yeah, that's it...if we had a movie that's what we'd call it. Apologies to Bill and Ted, but we're girls and we're way more fun. I am blogging from Sin City, baby... Lost Wages... LV,NV.. VEGAS! Having a great time thus far and I promised updates to some folks so here goes...

The trip started out on Tuesday am at the crack of freaking dawn. I mean we got up so early the rooster was still snoozing. We woke up the chickens and they said "Yo..we're trying to sleep...get your crazy self back to bed!" Ah, but the airport and the security lines beckoned... so off we went. The plane was packed, but we two travelers got seats together at least and we took off heading west.

Now, I am an East Coast girl. Always have been... and when you fly over the east coast, or drive it for that matter, there are two predominant colors... green and blue. Everything is green or blue, unless it's a freshly plowed field. Then the square shape gives it away. But I digress... we flew west and things turned BROWN. I mean a hundred shades of brown. I saw chocolate and ochre, umber, and sienna... (thank God for the BIG box of crayons). And the mountains...can someone explain this to me? In the east, you have a buildup to the mountains. You have HILLS and such that give you a hint "hey...there are mountains coming up." Not here, nuh uh no way.. we're talking flat land and then WHAMMO these huge mountains just lurch into the sky. It is magnificent. I love the east coast... and the Appalachians, but let me tell ya, those are "mountains for beginners." THESE are real mountains.

The scenery here is gorgeous. Bluer than blue skies, the mountains and more lights and light bulbs than you can shake a stick at. We leave the east at 8:30 am and end up 2000 miles away at 10:30 am. Gotta love gaining time. Anyone ever said "I wish I had more hours in a day"? Fly west, it works wonders. Oh, and there are slots in the airport. Did we play 'em? You bet. Did we win? Yup... J and E both came out a quarter ahead of the game. This bodes well. Shuttle to Circus Circus, our hotel, and rooms aren't even close to ready. No problem... we'll go find someplace to sit and have a drink. Make no mistake, it's HOT here. Yeah yeah, it's a dry heat, but it's still freaking hot. We get a strawberry margarita (remember that, it's important) and there's no place to sit. Okay, let's go explore the hotel. It's MASSIVE, with a theme park, theaters, restaurants, and a casino. We have time to kill so we play a few slots, and get another margarita (with whipped cream). J is the QUEEN of looking like she's playin' slots, and getting that free drink. She is gifted and a pro, I have much to learn. So we down that one and check out the show schedule in the hotel. We're meandering along and find a Mexican restaurant featuring HALF PRICE PITCHERS of margaritas. We figured "hey, it's noon, why not?" So one BIG pitcher and three rounds of chips and salsa later (by the way, when J says she can eat her weight in chips and salsa? She ain't kidding) it's now one thirty. Rooms are ready at two, so off we go... and we get lost. Cannot find the lobby (told you this place was big). Wandering around, drink in hand... we finally get to the lobby, and check in. Tried to nap, that was futile, and finally at five we were ready to go. Now, at this point, it's 8 pm Eastern... and we're just starting out. We get tickets to the "THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER" and the first acronym of the night is born... HNM. Hot Naked Men!! With accents, yessir, can't go wrong there. Went to the Excalibur, where the show was...found the casino... and found a friendly waitress. We were early... so we lost a little money, and drank for free. (God I love Vegas). Buzz firmly in place, we embarrass ourselves in the arcade, trying to play skee ball. We are consoled by more free drinks. Finally, it's off to stand in line...to stake our claim on great seats for the HNM. We get good seats, more beers, two buttery nipples (no, there was no Parkay involved), and the music and cheering begins.
I want to move to Australia. Holy cats... what pretty pretty boys. Now, J and I console ourselves while behaving ourselves by looking and reminding each other that they're all gay. We don't know this for sure, of course...but it helps explain why neither one of us got to bring one back home. 75 minutes of HNM and we are primed and ready to go. We even got pictures made with them, and if you'd like to see all those HNM, go to www.thunderfromdownunder.com. If you want to see the pictures of US with the HNM, you'll have to send money.
We had toured the Excalibur pretty thoroughly (beautiful hotel and it just makes me want to live in Camelot for real) and we head outside. Next stop: Luxor. Think FEAR FACTOR. It's the big glass pyramid. WAY cool, and once again, we found a casino for the sole purpose of getting more free drinks. J has an enthusiastic and quick study student... I'm getting the hang of this. The Luxor is connected by moving walkway to Mandalay Bay? Ever been really buzzed on a moving walkway? You go REALLY FAST. At Mandalay Bay, we're singularly interested in the Russian Ice Vodka Bar. It's inside the Red Square restaurant. Outside the restaurant were two things of interest. One: a giant headless statue of Vladmir Lenin, complete with fake bird crap on it's feet. Two: Randy, the really cute and very friendly maitre'D. Randy took our picture with Vlad's crotch. (pictures to follow soon). While finishing yet another beer, we notice something odd. A stream of people passing by, all of whom resemble Wednesday Addams and Marilyn Manson. Apparently we missed the goth convention. Not really, the group "Ministry" was playing at the House of Blues. What these people needed more was a House of Fashion, and a House of Tans.
Inside, we have a drink at the ice bar. WAY cool, the bar actually looks like the ice in an ice rink. Conversation with the bartender reveals they use the same technology (frozen pipes under the ice keep it cold). It is cool, no pun intended, and J and I amuse ourselves by making hand angels. We are easily amused. Content to pay for our own drinks, we meet Megan. Megan the bar whore... who is determined to have the businessmen behind us buy all of our drinks. Nevermind that these poor fellows are married, one of them talking about his child non-stop... Megan is undeterred. She wants that free drink, and she'll stop at nothing to get it. I felt like giving her the eleven bucks to save herself the humiliation. J had a Bolshevik Bellini which is champagne and raspberry vodka. E had the Dutch Connection which was vodka and everything but the kitchen sink. Damn they were good. We bid the bar whore goodbye and good riddance, but gave fonder farewells to Randy and Vlad.
A quick stop at the casino for more free beer (DUH!) and we're hailing a cab toward the hotel. Did I mention the lack of open container laws in Nevada? You can drink... ANYWHERE. God I love this state. Back at the hotel..we're hungry. The alcohol is screaming loudly...for red meat. J remembers a sign for a steak and shrimp dinner for less than ten bucks at the Frontier hotel. Hey, the Frontier is right next door, right? NOT... SO... MUCH. A mile and a half later... THERE it is. At this point, we bypassed our first casino and the free drinks (hunger had kicked in big time) and headed for the restaurant. We got a $10 steak and shrimp dinner, and mozzarella sticks. Life is SO good. And we are SO tired. It’s now 1 am and we head back to the hotel, having been up for our first 23 hour day. If this pace keeps up we’ll need two things: a good sleep plan, and a liver transplant.
More tomorrow… much love… Em and J.