2008 the year of loaf.

Okay not exactly loaf...but I can't possibly explain what it's like to NOT have schoolwork! Doesn't mean I haven't been busy...but now I read, cross-stitch, play Wii, shop, watch movies, cook...

You know, do all that stuff I hit the 'pause' button on four years ago.

Not anymore baby!

Now if I could just get into the whole exercise thing. I'm definitely eating better...down 8 in two weeks. First goal is to lose 20. I'll use this blog (maybe) to keep myself accountable. And perhaps to roust up a few cheerleaders.

Oh and back to Australia one month from TODAY! WHOOOP!

Goodbye 2007

Good riddance too, really...you took my friend, 2007... you took Diana.

Today I let her go. I came home with a bit of her in a little beautiful urn. I made a promise that I'd take her to the water and return her to the world. When the time was right. Well, my E was going to come and visit and we'd do it together. Life interrupted and she sat with me.

I was selfish. I didn't want to let her go. It seemed so final.

Last night...New Year's Eve, I sat online with my MircSpouse...and for the first time in a decade or more, Diana wasn't there to ring in the New Year with us. Today ... all day... I was restless. I couldn't settle myself down.

Finally I knew what I had to do. I took her urn, grabbed a diet Dr. Pepper and made the 30 minute drive to the water. It was chilly, windy, the waves breaking up on the rocks. I found a quiet inlet spot... looked out over the water... said a prayer and told her how very much I miss her.

I opened the urn and returned her ashes to the seas. At the convergence of the Potomac, the Patuxent, and the Chesapeake. She'd like that. She'd like all those Native American names, and she'd have loved the quiet little spot, just opposite the spray on the rocks. The water swirled and seemed to bubble with joy...and the little cloud of ashes stayed together as it rode a current out to sea.

On the drive back toward home, I was stopped by a deer. Doe, a deer, a female deer (sorry, can't help it) just STANDING there in the road. I put the car in park, and the deer walked toward the car... passed by my passenger side window, circled around the back and finally crossed the road to find whatever it is she was looking for.

I put the car in drive and not thirty yards down the road, ANOTHER deer came out of the woods. This one a buck with antlers. He looked at my car, bounded across and seemed to put an exclamation mark on my trip. Deer are not common at this time of year and in this weather. Usually they're deep in the woods.... not today.

I did the right thing, at the right time.

I am starting my year with an organized house. Mostly anyway. I am also going back to my healthy eating plan... every one of those Christmas cookies are stuck to my thighs, I swear it. I'm also starting 2008 with optimism. I will live this year, even if it's without Diana. I won't stop missing her, but life DOES go on. She's where she needs to be and so am I.

For that, at least, I can be grateful.

Here's hoping that 2008 brings lots of wonderful things to all of my loved ones.