2008 the year of loaf.

Okay not exactly loaf...but I can't possibly explain what it's like to NOT have schoolwork! Doesn't mean I haven't been busy...but now I read, cross-stitch, play Wii, shop, watch movies, cook...

You know, do all that stuff I hit the 'pause' button on four years ago.

Not anymore baby!

Now if I could just get into the whole exercise thing. I'm definitely eating better...down 8 in two weeks. First goal is to lose 20. I'll use this blog (maybe) to keep myself accountable. And perhaps to roust up a few cheerleaders.

Oh and back to Australia one month from TODAY! WHOOOP!

Goodbye 2007

Good riddance too, really...you took my friend, 2007... you took Diana.

Today I let her go. I came home with a bit of her in a little beautiful urn. I made a promise that I'd take her to the water and return her to the world. When the time was right. Well, my E was going to come and visit and we'd do it together. Life interrupted and she sat with me.

I was selfish. I didn't want to let her go. It seemed so final.

Last night...New Year's Eve, I sat online with my MircSpouse...and for the first time in a decade or more, Diana wasn't there to ring in the New Year with us. Today ... all day... I was restless. I couldn't settle myself down.

Finally I knew what I had to do. I took her urn, grabbed a diet Dr. Pepper and made the 30 minute drive to the water. It was chilly, windy, the waves breaking up on the rocks. I found a quiet inlet spot... looked out over the water... said a prayer and told her how very much I miss her.

I opened the urn and returned her ashes to the seas. At the convergence of the Potomac, the Patuxent, and the Chesapeake. She'd like that. She'd like all those Native American names, and she'd have loved the quiet little spot, just opposite the spray on the rocks. The water swirled and seemed to bubble with joy...and the little cloud of ashes stayed together as it rode a current out to sea.

On the drive back toward home, I was stopped by a deer. Doe, a deer, a female deer (sorry, can't help it) just STANDING there in the road. I put the car in park, and the deer walked toward the car... passed by my passenger side window, circled around the back and finally crossed the road to find whatever it is she was looking for.

I put the car in drive and not thirty yards down the road, ANOTHER deer came out of the woods. This one a buck with antlers. He looked at my car, bounded across and seemed to put an exclamation mark on my trip. Deer are not common at this time of year and in this weather. Usually they're deep in the woods.... not today.

I did the right thing, at the right time.

I am starting my year with an organized house. Mostly anyway. I am also going back to my healthy eating plan... every one of those Christmas cookies are stuck to my thighs, I swear it. I'm also starting 2008 with optimism. I will live this year, even if it's without Diana. I won't stop missing her, but life DOES go on. She's where she needs to be and so am I.

For that, at least, I can be grateful.

Here's hoping that 2008 brings lots of wonderful things to all of my loved ones.

Christmas Update
You know how the phrase “I’ll never do that” seems to come out of your mouth when you’re young and then you end up eating those words later? Thankfully, the words don’t taste so bad.

I swore I’d “never” do one of these Christmas update letters but here we are. Last year we left our intrepid heroine (that would be ME) in post-holiday bliss, strung out on Oreo truffles and left-over Egg Nog. Then around rolled 2007 and the clock started ticking….

Springtime saw the return of “The World Traveler” with trips to Amsterdam, Athens, and California. Whew! Subsequent months brought travel to Reno, back to California, a jaunt to Atlanta, and at the time of this writing I’ve been back from Melbourne (Australia, not Florida) for five days. When I’m not in an airplane, I seem to be on the road taking someone to practice, or to a game, or to some other event, but you won’t catch me complaining. Especially since I have my Bunco Babes to visit with on a regular basis! I was busy the entire first part of the year putting together a reunion/retirement party for a very good friend and enjoying the company of some old friends. Gosh but it felt good to sing again, and act too as I managed to squeeze in a play (in my spare time) to end my year.

Spouse saw some changes this year as well. He leveraged his management and IT experience along with his education (more on that in a minute!) into a new job with the Federal Government. As the Team Lead for IT Infrastructure he spends all of his days in meetings, telling bottom-feeding contractors (guys and girls just like me!) what to do. Before getting the new job, Spouse utilized that management experience to plan a family vacation, taking us all down to Disney World in July. Despite temperatures that would make desert animals weep, and humidity levels so high that scuba equipment would have made breathing easier, the family had a lovely time. We got very up close and personal with about half of the population of Brazil, all of whom were also enjoying Disney World at the same time. Spouse is still coaching soccer, as the head coach of M’s U-10 travel team and as the assistant coach of Tadley’s U-8 RecPlus team.

Stretch has blossomed into a very confident young woman. An honor roll student at Leonardtown High School and at fifteen, she is now playing travel soccer with the Fury and on the High School Junior Varsity team. She’s proven herself to be a leader both on and off the field, as her school team ended with a 12-0 record and outscored their opponents 78-1. Stretch seems to have found her niche playing defender and (My heart is healthy, luckily!) GOALIE in a pinch. She also plays lacrosse, and was named one of the JV squad’s most valuable players in her first high school lacrosse season. The coach has been grooming Stretch for a spot on the 2008 Varsity team; so perhaps that will be news in next year’s letter! (Oh how the mighty have fallen…) Stretch has also really found her voice, and although she uses it mostly on her cell phone or yelling across the house at her parents, siblings, or boyfriend… she is also a member of the high school's elite singing group “Laydies Fayre” and just this week learned that she has been named to Maryland’s All-State Honors Chorus. She is the only sophomore in her HS to achieve this honor and we look forward to hearing her singing come March. In her spare time (she is SO like her mother!) she has taken on a part time job at the local Hallmark store, and loves the work…and the money.

M is now in fifth grade…one small step away from Middle School and her parents are NOT READY! She just turned 10, and is enjoying quite a busy life as well. She plays clarinet in the school band, sings with the Hollywood Singers, is enjoying her second season with the Wildcats (another goalie, God help us all) and also plays lacrosse. Her lacrosse team won the SMGLL championship at the Lax-a-Daisy Draw Tournament in spring of 2007, and the Wildcats have racked up some impressive tournament victories and winning seasons in both spring and fall. She has also enjoyed a year in both All-County and Tri-County chorus and is a Junior Girl Scout. This year, she and Mommy even camped out! For those of you who know, Mommy doesn’t camp…it’s amazing what “Maddiegirl” can get people to do.

Tadley is in second grade, yet his reading and language arts scores say he’s at least two years older than that. Seriously, that boy can read! Of course getting him to sit still long enough is the challenge! After a season playing pigskin football, and wearing pads that weigh as much as he does, The Boy went back to soccer and RecPlus with Daddy as the assistant coach. He’s always the smallest guy on the field, but he’s determined! His grades are great, and this year Tadley and Spouse have earned a little together time in Cub Scouts. They are planning their Pinewood Derby entry….so anyone with experience, please feel free to email! Tadley sometimes gets the short end of things, being dragged to his sisters’ games…so it’s good that he gets to be the superstar sometimes.

In August we added TWO members to the Oosterink clan! Our grandson joined the horde on the 13th, and we are having a lot of fun with our wee Jakey. He’s become quite the little love… smiling, cooing, and laughing out loud. If I’d known how much fun it is to spoil them and send them home, I’d have had grandbabies FIRST!



Our second addition came in from thousands of miles and an ocean away. SM is the daughter of one of my work contacts and she is our imported daughter until June of 2008. She’s here on student exchange, but she has integrated nearly seamlessly into our busy family! She’s also an honor roll student (straight A’s!) and is on the track team this winter. She’s enjoying the myriad of holiday “stuff” that we’re doing and we’ve taught her the rules of soccer (like she had a choice?). She also took ballroom dancing during the fall, so we got our own expert while watching “Dancing with the Stars” and she wowed everyone during Homecoming! We fill our Sunday evenings watching “Desperate Housewives” and “Brothers and Sisters” together every week. We’ve enjoyed a couple of visits from SM’s parents since her arrival, and she’s heading out for a weekend trip to New York City with other area exchange students.

With all of this going on, you’d think we’d be done right? Not so fast! Spouse and I BOTH graduated this year, earning Bachelors degrees from the University of Phoenix. Four years of schooling have come to an end as I finally got my BS in Business, and Spouse got his BS in Information Systems Management. While he will be starting a Master’s program in 2008, I plan on starting up a hobby…or a habit!

Spouse’s mom, K, is enjoying her apartment at “Casa de LOUD” although we’re quite sure she could do with a few less children and about a hundred fewer decibels. She has faced some pretty stiff health challenges this year, but seems to be weathering the storm (and enforced retirement) with her usual style and grace. We’re so very fortunate to have another set of hands around here. K helps manage the chaos, mitigate the stress, and celebrate the victories with the entire family.

We hope that 2007 has been as filled with joy for you and your family…and just think...if we get to see you, you won’t have to read this entire novel to know what’s happening with us. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and love to all!

Four years of school

Tuition? $1400 per three credit hours
Books? $100 minimum per class
Student Loans? $40K and counting
Sharing a graduation day with my life partner and the only man I want to share such things with?



Priceless.

Congratulations honey, we did it!

With friends like these...I need Depends.

I know that's an awfully odd title for a post that follows a memorial service, however somehow I think GQS would totally get it. Dear Lord in heaven, I can't possibly describe the gamut of emotions I have experienced over the past four days, but I'm going to try.

I'll start with where I am now: Peace and Gratitude.

Having met the most wonderful family in the world, I completely get why she is who she is. I get why she loves them, and they love her... I get why visiting Mom and Dad was a recharging for my Quicksilver friend. I get it. I also get her spouse. Certainly the last six weeks or so have been a trial by blowtorch, and we've spent hours on the phone, but I get why she picked him. I get why he picked her and I also get WHY they worked together. Meeting her family helped bring her more to life for me, even in death.

The service on Saturday was a roller coaster ride. Friday evening, E and I were invited to the church to help coordinate efforts and it was incredible to be a part of planning the celebration of an all too short life. The vocalist the family knew could not make it and so I stepped forward on Saturday to start the ceremony by singing "Amazing Grace". Lovely song, and yet, it wasn't the typical. E helped me by selecting verses that seemed appropriate. I sang acapella, which is a lot of pressure, but definitely helped me to focus. Thankfully no one heard the voice in my head during that third verse...where the lyrics were:

"When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we first begun."

And the voice in my head was chanting "keep it together, don't lose focus, don't embarrass yourself, keep it together, just a little longer, hold it together..."

Got lucky there.

The best part of the service for me was the open microphone part where folks got up to speak about GQS and the type of person she is, and the influence she had on them. Joyous was absolutely lovely reading "Death is Nothing" and E went with her to lend moral support. It was a fantastic tribute from us internet peeps. Many others, family and friends alike, stepped up and told stories of the woman I too had come to know and love. It is a reassuring thing to find that the friend you knew is true all the way through. She was for everyone what she was for me... a wonderful warm vibrant loving nurturing spirit. I am so grateful and so reassured.

I got to close that part of the ceremony by reading her own words in poetry. The words of "If I were an angel" made me both tear up, and yet smile. I'm counting on that comfort, Purple One!!

I was okay until the music kicked in and then thank God for E, who slipped an arm around me as I cried my way through "The River and the Highway". The video sealed the deal. I was a mess.

We ended with a dessert gathering in the fellowship hall of the church. Meeting the people who love her the way we did made me even more thankful for everything that she has given me over the past ten-plus years.

I have to say that Saturday's greatest gift may have been the MartyParty and her wonderful family. Derek the miracle boy is a wonder and John is SO laid back and is a perfect match for Marty. Now let me tell you about Marty... the HS teacher. She may appear to be a warm wonderful witty teacher... comforting in hugs and with a sweet southern drawl, gentle way of talking, and open friendly smile. She is all that...

But she is SOOOOO much more.

She's a pool shark. She's a bartender and a hypnotherapist. She's a dancer and a genius, and .. and .. and ..
She's an onion. There are layers and complexity of flavor and she gave me a COOKBOOK. I love to cook. Oh I am so coming to the lake for summer, Martilla.. be ready.

We had a great dinner on Saturday, and went shopping for a dogwood tree to plant in the memory of our friend. So sad that Marty had to leave but I have a plan to make good on more late nights and hugs when we're at the lake.

Sunday we went to the family home...and planted a lovely pink dogwood. GQS's mom wanted one, and we enclosed two amethysts in the hole. They will be a part of the ground and a part of the tree forever. We then spent the whole day just hanging out with the wonderful Hendersons. I don't know that I can adequately convey just how fantastic it was being a part of that family. In being with them, I was with her again. That is more precious than I can ever say.

We went out to dinner with Rexagonal to Hooters...(I know! But it was MY choice!) and we proceeded to get very very silly. Joyous has detailed the night at her blog far better than I ever could, but let me just say this:

I am too old to stay up all night.
My abdominal muscles are sore from laughing.
I need to pack Depends the next time I hook up with these people.

Joyous, you live up to your name. My God woman how I love you. E... You are NOT a virgin! You're a wonderful witty, HYSTERICAL man, who does a pretty mean Dobby impersonation.

I came home with a bit of Quicksilver for my own. In October she will join the waters of the Chesapeake Bay and the Atlantic Ocean. E will join me and we will facilitate this journey for her, for ourselves and for Anne, Bill, and the Chrisi all on the East Coast.

It sucked to have a reason like we did to get together. However there's only ONE thing I'd taken in exchange for the four days I spent. I know those I spent the four days with feel the same way, and there's no way to get what we all want. So with that said:

Fair winds and following seas, Sister. I love you now, I will always love you. I will do my best not to miss you too much but quite frankly, that's going to be really f*cking difficult.

This is my 100th post.

I am a terrible blogger because I very rarely have enough time to sit and write. I am too busy being mom, wife, worker, friend, etc.

Diana was an awesome blogger. No matter what she took a few minutes to update everyone on the latest news, or theory or whatever...And I ALWAYS looked forward to reading her update, then catching her online or on the phone to talk.

For the last six weeks or so I've been in constant contact with her husband, because my friend was rushed to the hospital with spinal meningitis. Recovering from cancer is never easy...recovering when you have doctors who don't listen to you is damned impossible.

Unfortunately for the world, it proved to be so for my friend.

Diana left this Earth on August 26, 2007. Trust me when I tell you that the entire Universe is a bit dimmer, having lost this very important light. Diana was articulate, inquisitive, loving, creative, prolific, humorous.. I could go on for days. She's a Geminii, and a Gem...and definitely one in a million.

I knew the end was coming. I prayed for a miracle. It was not to be. Diana taught me that if it was not meant to turn out this way, it wouldn't have turned out this way...
And things turn out best for those who make the best out of how things turn out.

I have poured out my soul in rivers of tears over the last 48 hours. I'm drained. I have work to do, work that will do good for my spouse, my children, my friends. It is what she would want. It is what I want.

God how I miss her.

The internet is a funny thing. You hear a lot about the creeps and weirdos but the news tends to ignore the extraordinary and normal people who populate this medium. I met Diana online over 10 years ago and never once got to see her face to face. However, she knows my heart, and knows that I could have never asked for a better friend. I love her. I will always love her. I cherish what she brought to my life..and I am amazed that someone so extraordinary picked normal ol' me to befriend.

In her words... I am grateful.

I love you, Sister.

Dangit GQS, you better wake up. You're missing this...

My grandson (holy shit) arrived Monday.