It's the simple things that amuse me.






I need help. Serious mental help.

Em

Day Three in Vegas:

To do list...provided by darling Tony. J and E firmly grasped said to-do list in hand and set out to do all of their to-do's. First though, it was plotting and planning out by the pool. E is sporting a tan, not easy for a girl with her Irish complexion. She does look healthy though. We chill out in the sun (hey, is that an oxymoron?) and discuss the afternoon and evening plans. Head inside to shower and change..

It's raining in Vegas on Thursday afternoon. Here we are, in the desert and it's RAINING. Kinda cool though, because at home when it rains, it just gets more muggy. Here the moisture is actually soaked up by the ground and it cools the air. Very nice.

Okay so here's Tony's "to do" list. Things you MUST do in Vegas.
1. Watch the waterfountains at Bellagio (better at night). And we did, absolutely gorgeous. They danced and waved all lit up white in front of this MASSIVE hotel. Oh, they had them dancing to that music on the "Beef--it's what's for dinner" commercial. E was craving steak by the time it was all done.

2. See the Pirate Show outside Treasure Island. Done, see yesterday's entry. E saw this one alone

3. See the fountains come to life in the Forum Shops at Caesar's PalaceThis one we didn't get to do, because the Forum Shops are under renovation. We did walk around Caesar's Palace though and enjoyed the beautiful grounds

4. See the lions at MGM Done. Those are some big pussies. Oh c'mon, you KNEW I was going to go there. J and E also saw a wonderful piano player and singer at the MGM. Shane Stephens. English, or Aussie, cute accent and even cuter face and bod. *meow*

5. Watch the ceiling shows at the Rio. Done. See the "beads and dick" posting. Can't say enough how cool that entire thing really was.

6. Watch the circus acts at Circus Circus. Okay so we didn't even DO this one until our final day. We were staying at Circus Circus, and played skee ball and acted like clowns. Does that count?

7. Watch the volcano at the Mirage. Also done. Frequent and cool, a nice break and it gave E some more people to watch.

He also recommended seeing the Paris, Aladdin, and Venetian Hotels. Which we did, and took pictures. Had an absolutely decadent chocolate eclair at the Paris. Ooohed and Aaaahed over the French tarts (in the bakery silly) and acted like American tarts as J and E wondered if there was a VCB convention we somehow missed. What's VCB? Very Cute Boys. Lots of yummy things to eat at the Paris!

The Venetian amazed E. She was quite attractive with her jaw hanging open the entire time. The shopping area was to die for, especially all the ceramic theatre masks. E collects these things and to see the incredible indoor canal and gondola rides along with shops and stands all carrying her collectibles was almost too much. The digital pictures look like they were taken outside in the daylight. Hard to believe the girls saw this spectacular at 10:30 pm on Thursday night!

Almost completely exhausted, J and E hopped the bus for another trip to Freemont Street. J had missed the show the night before and E wanted to show it off. Imagine the surprise and delight of both girls when tonight's show was new and different from the night before! Instead of the 60's-inspired plethora of colors and waves of music, tonight's featured butterflies (J's fave) ladybugs (are you listening Quicksilver?) and FROGS! (E and Joyous may now rejoice). Very cool stuff and again a super highlight.

J and E collapse into bed at about 1:30 am after setting a wakeup call. Tomorrow it's souvenier shopping, Circus acts and then off to the airport for the flight home.
Thanks for the list, Tony! *smooooch*

Day two... The day of beads and dick.

More on that later, the day started out early... 7 am local time and guess who couldn't sleep? So no better way to spend the morning than by the pool. Okay, it is a dry heat, and a fair skinned gal like myself gets sun quick. Thank goodness for sunscreen. J and E had a VERY revealing conversation throughout our pool time... the gist is that David Letterman, Richard Gere, and Catherine Zeta-Jones ARE "do-able" however Jay Leno, Jack Black, and Bea Arther are NOT. Oh, did we mention we encompassed every celebrity we could think of, and that this hours-long discussion happened while completely sober? WTF? For further details on who made the yes and no lists, contact J and E personally.
Today was a low alcohol day. Never let it be said that the liver doesn't have a language of it's own. We snagged a few drinks in the casinos, and made plans to head to the tattoo parlor at the Palms hotel. As much as we'd love to be living breathing works of art, a 150 dollar minimum just doesn't cut it. We'll shelve that idea. Off to the Rio for a free show recommended by a friend. We ended up in the casino where we re-wrote our Megan rule. Yes we met a NEW Megan...and as the sweetest waitress in the entire casino, we're happy to forget bar whore Megan. Our new Megan gave us tips on seeing the sky show at the Rio, and it was AWESOME. Picture New Orleans, or Carnival, suspended from the ceiling. Amazing stuff. It was here that we got our beads. No boobage required, although some of the folks watching looked slightly disappointed. We'll take THAT compliment. We then headed down to the casino floor for some dick. Before you get all atwitter... we are talking about the Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve slot machine. What a HOOT. Fun interactive games throughout and J found her own lucky streak by parlaying a dollar into nearly ten. E had no such luck, but was on Megan watch for drinks.
We grabbed some dinner at an excellent Mexican restaurant (again recommended by Megan) and had the absolute best chile con queso in Las Vegas. After a purchase of feather boas. (Turns out it's a fetish for J), we were off to Harrah's for a quick stop, and plans to head to Freemont Street for the laser light show.
J's batteries were running a little low. Sleep deprivation comes easily to us moms, but not so much the single gal. She decided to head back to the hotel, while E carried on to Freemont Street. On a covered street, the biggest LED screen ever played patterns and colors while accompanied by a unique musical soundtrack. Street vendors lined the promenade, and again with the gazillion light bulbs on every store, casino, and hotel front. A bus ride back to Treasure Island just in time to catch the "Sirens of TI" show, and some strolling around the strip.. and whaddya know, it's nearly 2 am. E hoofs it back to the hotel for some much needed shut eye, and has to wake up J because her freaking hotel room key has become de-magnetized. Tomorrow it's the Venetian, MGM, Bellagio, Caesar's, and perhaps that tattoo.
Tomorrow is also a higher alcohol day. WOO HOO!

Em and J's excellent Vegas adventure! Yeah, that's it...if we had a movie that's what we'd call it. Apologies to Bill and Ted, but we're girls and we're way more fun. I am blogging from Sin City, baby... Lost Wages... LV,NV.. VEGAS! Having a great time thus far and I promised updates to some folks so here goes...

The trip started out on Tuesday am at the crack of freaking dawn. I mean we got up so early the rooster was still snoozing. We woke up the chickens and they said "Yo..we're trying to sleep...get your crazy self back to bed!" Ah, but the airport and the security lines beckoned... so off we went. The plane was packed, but we two travelers got seats together at least and we took off heading west.

Now, I am an East Coast girl. Always have been... and when you fly over the east coast, or drive it for that matter, there are two predominant colors... green and blue. Everything is green or blue, unless it's a freshly plowed field. Then the square shape gives it away. But I digress... we flew west and things turned BROWN. I mean a hundred shades of brown. I saw chocolate and ochre, umber, and sienna... (thank God for the BIG box of crayons). And the mountains...can someone explain this to me? In the east, you have a buildup to the mountains. You have HILLS and such that give you a hint "hey...there are mountains coming up." Not here, nuh uh no way.. we're talking flat land and then WHAMMO these huge mountains just lurch into the sky. It is magnificent. I love the east coast... and the Appalachians, but let me tell ya, those are "mountains for beginners." THESE are real mountains.

The scenery here is gorgeous. Bluer than blue skies, the mountains and more lights and light bulbs than you can shake a stick at. We leave the east at 8:30 am and end up 2000 miles away at 10:30 am. Gotta love gaining time. Anyone ever said "I wish I had more hours in a day"? Fly west, it works wonders. Oh, and there are slots in the airport. Did we play 'em? You bet. Did we win? Yup... J and E both came out a quarter ahead of the game. This bodes well. Shuttle to Circus Circus, our hotel, and rooms aren't even close to ready. No problem... we'll go find someplace to sit and have a drink. Make no mistake, it's HOT here. Yeah yeah, it's a dry heat, but it's still freaking hot. We get a strawberry margarita (remember that, it's important) and there's no place to sit. Okay, let's go explore the hotel. It's MASSIVE, with a theme park, theaters, restaurants, and a casino. We have time to kill so we play a few slots, and get another margarita (with whipped cream). J is the QUEEN of looking like she's playin' slots, and getting that free drink. She is gifted and a pro, I have much to learn. So we down that one and check out the show schedule in the hotel. We're meandering along and find a Mexican restaurant featuring HALF PRICE PITCHERS of margaritas. We figured "hey, it's noon, why not?" So one BIG pitcher and three rounds of chips and salsa later (by the way, when J says she can eat her weight in chips and salsa? She ain't kidding) it's now one thirty. Rooms are ready at two, so off we go... and we get lost. Cannot find the lobby (told you this place was big). Wandering around, drink in hand... we finally get to the lobby, and check in. Tried to nap, that was futile, and finally at five we were ready to go. Now, at this point, it's 8 pm Eastern... and we're just starting out. We get tickets to the "THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER" and the first acronym of the night is born... HNM. Hot Naked Men!! With accents, yessir, can't go wrong there. Went to the Excalibur, where the show was...found the casino... and found a friendly waitress. We were early... so we lost a little money, and drank for free. (God I love Vegas). Buzz firmly in place, we embarrass ourselves in the arcade, trying to play skee ball. We are consoled by more free drinks. Finally, it's off to stand in line...to stake our claim on great seats for the HNM. We get good seats, more beers, two buttery nipples (no, there was no Parkay involved), and the music and cheering begins.
I want to move to Australia. Holy cats... what pretty pretty boys. Now, J and I console ourselves while behaving ourselves by looking and reminding each other that they're all gay. We don't know this for sure, of course...but it helps explain why neither one of us got to bring one back home. 75 minutes of HNM and we are primed and ready to go. We even got pictures made with them, and if you'd like to see all those HNM, go to www.thunderfromdownunder.com. If you want to see the pictures of US with the HNM, you'll have to send money.
We had toured the Excalibur pretty thoroughly (beautiful hotel and it just makes me want to live in Camelot for real) and we head outside. Next stop: Luxor. Think FEAR FACTOR. It's the big glass pyramid. WAY cool, and once again, we found a casino for the sole purpose of getting more free drinks. J has an enthusiastic and quick study student... I'm getting the hang of this. The Luxor is connected by moving walkway to Mandalay Bay? Ever been really buzzed on a moving walkway? You go REALLY FAST. At Mandalay Bay, we're singularly interested in the Russian Ice Vodka Bar. It's inside the Red Square restaurant. Outside the restaurant were two things of interest. One: a giant headless statue of Vladmir Lenin, complete with fake bird crap on it's feet. Two: Randy, the really cute and very friendly maitre'D. Randy took our picture with Vlad's crotch. (pictures to follow soon). While finishing yet another beer, we notice something odd. A stream of people passing by, all of whom resemble Wednesday Addams and Marilyn Manson. Apparently we missed the goth convention. Not really, the group "Ministry" was playing at the House of Blues. What these people needed more was a House of Fashion, and a House of Tans.
Inside, we have a drink at the ice bar. WAY cool, the bar actually looks like the ice in an ice rink. Conversation with the bartender reveals they use the same technology (frozen pipes under the ice keep it cold). It is cool, no pun intended, and J and I amuse ourselves by making hand angels. We are easily amused. Content to pay for our own drinks, we meet Megan. Megan the bar whore... who is determined to have the businessmen behind us buy all of our drinks. Nevermind that these poor fellows are married, one of them talking about his child non-stop... Megan is undeterred. She wants that free drink, and she'll stop at nothing to get it. I felt like giving her the eleven bucks to save herself the humiliation. J had a Bolshevik Bellini which is champagne and raspberry vodka. E had the Dutch Connection which was vodka and everything but the kitchen sink. Damn they were good. We bid the bar whore goodbye and good riddance, but gave fonder farewells to Randy and Vlad.
A quick stop at the casino for more free beer (DUH!) and we're hailing a cab toward the hotel. Did I mention the lack of open container laws in Nevada? You can drink... ANYWHERE. God I love this state. Back at the hotel..we're hungry. The alcohol is screaming loudly...for red meat. J remembers a sign for a steak and shrimp dinner for less than ten bucks at the Frontier hotel. Hey, the Frontier is right next door, right? NOT... SO... MUCH. A mile and a half later... THERE it is. At this point, we bypassed our first casino and the free drinks (hunger had kicked in big time) and headed for the restaurant. We got a $10 steak and shrimp dinner, and mozzarella sticks. Life is SO good. And we are SO tired. It’s now 1 am and we head back to the hotel, having been up for our first 23 hour day. If this pace keeps up we’ll need two things: a good sleep plan, and a liver transplant.
More tomorrow… much love… Em and J.